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All of my recent entries are depressing...

...But here's some good news:

I got a job!

My summer internship hired me (sorta, I'm an independent contractor). I'm finally earning money and contributing to society!
Looking back at all my sad, sad entries I'm all the more thankful things are looking a bit more up. Taking things one step at a time :)

Neko 2015

Nekocon 2014 - Con Report: The Recovery Year

ThursdayCollapse )

FridayCollapse )

SaturdayCollapse )

On a final note, I got some closure for the events of the previous year, but that's for another post.

Man this entry was seriously overdue. My bad. Here's hoping that Nekocon 2015 will be a strong year!


That whole string of terrible birthdays, I've finally arrived at a year where it was everything I ever wanted. Since I was 18 to now my 25th year, my birthday had seemed to become something just to dread, but this year it just kept getting better and better, its like a miracle.

Huh, 7 years, maybe there's some truth to that mirror breaking thing after all (though I don't recall breaking any mirrors, especially on my birthday).

Quick recap for the birthdays from the years I failed to account for:
2012: Mom and I went out to dinner at the Hibachi place I like after church, just us. I think this is when I got a 3DS (the limited edition Zelda:OoT version)
2013: Friends and I went out for sushi and the next day I went out with church friends to Olive Garden. Also got a ps3

Friday: The day, the dreamCollapse )

Saturday: Of dog fairs and seafood addictionCollapse )

Sunday: The balloon mysteries, straps, and AMURICACollapse )

In ClosingCollapse )


Noping, so much nope

So HIMYM has drawn to a close...

Spoilers: of the angry kindCollapse )


Falling puzzle pieces

I was just thinking, what with HIMYM (along with other favorite shows, such as Psych and Warehouse 13) coming to an end, about conclusions.

HIMYM this season has been showing flash-forwards of the main character's life with 'The Mother' (they can now that they've officially cast her) and in every future glimpse he's so happy.

It just made me think, wouldn't it just be so nice if once you reach that life priority goal your life just...falls into place so perfectly like that? I mean it could be a significant other, a long time degree, a dream career, etc.

It sounds a bit pessimistic, but I wonder if that can really happen. 24 years, I think I'm just lonely *laugh*
But that sort of thing is something I've been wanting to experience, someone who enjoys my quirks rather than endures them. Just someone who accepts me.
Just that kind of thing would be enough for me, if my life can magically sew itself together after that would be great also.

I think I'm just more along the lines of forgetting what its like to be happy, like worry-free happy. I've reached a point where I can't even fathom that concept anymore.


2013: A Year in Despair

This year was certainly a wild card.

Overall it was a terrible, terrible year; but the thing is a lot of great things happened too. I guess it was fate trying to keep a balance?

Graduated (with associates, but friends keep telling me that at least its something)
Made new, close friends
I'm completely comfortable driving on the Interstate
Got my friend a job
Went to Canada
Got to experience how it feels to have real grandparents (at least, the kind that most people seem to have)
Got to go back to school after 8 months of just stagnant, home frustration after I couldn't find a job
Got into ODU
Got to bring the kids from church to camp and enjoy a week at the WILDS
Rehauled and completely reorganized my room
Finally found and got a figurine I've been looking for for a long time (Super Sonico Tora Parka nendo)
Got a ps3
Was able to go swimming with my mother before the summer ended
Nekocon 2013 (not a pure pro though, if you remember correctly)
All the people that helped comfort me post-Nekocon 2013

And here it comes,
Nekocon 2013Collapse )

FamilyCollapse )

On a final note, 2013 was just despair-madness anime-wise. Dangan Ronpa, the 3rd Madoka movie, and even Little Busters! Refrain decided to base their whole premise on just despair despair despair.
Con report: Nekocon 2013
I totally hand wrote this in the jury waiting room and I realized I can't handwrite anything anymore apparently. It takes freaking forever.

Day 1: ThursdayCollapse )

Dawn of the second day: FridayCollapse )
The End: SaturdayCollapse )


Murphy's law of the universe

It's so funny about the timing of last night's post. Ahahaha

...Turns out the guy at the center of my previous post got a girlfriend.

Ahahaha... This hurts way too much, I can't form words for some reason.


Shy!me vs. Ideal!me

Wow, it's been awhile hasn't it? I totally have some 2013 con reporting to do, but for now I have to get this mushy-gushy feelings-awkwardness out of the way first.

So I'm finally going to write about something I've been putting off for awhile, but my itunes is running with a new album so I figure why not.

It's about the aftermath of the anime convention earlier this month, for those of you who read/remember my previous post this is the follow up to that...

Time for the ramblingCollapse )


School and parental woes

Every time a new semester starts I start having this odd, unbearable anxiety. I've had it since middle school to be honest, but since school only started once a year I didn't really pay it much mind.

But then I started college. Two, sometimes three, new semesters a year and the anxiety intensified. Every week before a semester starts I'd just get really bummed and hysterical and everything. I don't know. I still don't understand it. No matter what I do or how much I prepare it still comes. There must be something wrong with me.

Parents don't help. I tried to tell them about my anxiety and my mom just told me to not be anxious, to not worry. That Christians have God and why should we worry?
But I can't. I can't just magically let go of this and be cheerful. It's not like I'm willingly choosing to screw with my emotions like this. I don't know.

And now she just burst in my room yelling at me about why I'm not studying the books I bought (even though she yelled at me earlier for having to buy these books in the first place, as if it was optional. Plus I scoured the used book bulletin boards for super cheap books so I basically got $200 worth of books for $35, but that's apparently still not good enough).
Basically she was saying that this is why I don't have good grades (I have B's and C's, but because I got rejected from two nursing school programs that must mean my grades aren't good enough). Why is this happening? I can't take this anymore. I wish I knew what to do.

Aug. 8th, 2012

There are necessary people in this world and unnecessary people.

Why are the unnecessary people here if we're just burdens to everyone. Everyone starts out with potential, just some people lose it. Is it their fault?

I really... hate people sometimes.

I mean, I think the unnecessary people are at least entitled to be told what's wrong with them before everyone rejects them. We should at least get that much.

I wrote Portal fic. Eyup.

Title: Alternate Core Detected
Author: bishojo_kitsune
Word Count: 2002
Summary: A 'what-if' fic where Chell and Wheatley switch places during their second encounter with GLaDOS
Warning(s): None really, some spoilers up to the late beginning of the game, but nothing is revealed.
Author's notes: Based off of this picture by the lovely waffleguppies. Idea and picture are due to her.


WHEATLEY. That"s all I can say. I haven"t written fic in so long I almost forgot how to do all of this.Collapse )

Skipped clinicals today, since tomorrow is the last day and I haven't had any absences yet.

Woke up this morning (and the past 3 mornings if I'm to be honest) unable to close my right hand. I mean, eventually throughout the day it starts working fine, but along the way it gets all tingly and numb. Carpal tunnel suddenly became an actual possibility in my future. What should I do guys?

Oh clinicals, is it bad that I'm already so stressed and tired from it when I'm working nowhere near the amount of hours actual care partners are working? How can I get a job like this?

On a random note, apparently clinicals is not in the google spellcheck nor the LJ one. Odd.
And since when did LJ automatically spell check before posting?


Final post of 2011

Just had a thought, I can't let my emo post of emotions be my last post of 2011. Despite all the crap that's happened I actually liked this year.
A bunch of great things happened like:

Watched all of Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Played Birth By Sleep
Came close to finishing Skyward Sword
Came close to finishing Twilight Princess
Started my KH!Max stories
Got super into Portal 2
Fell in love with Stephen Merchant
Discovered the Smerch fandom
Had one of the better Nekocons in my opinion
Discovered Community
Revived my love of Parks and Recreation
Finally got to watch the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya movie
Got a Mac
Found a cheap copy of Ar Tonelico 2
Got into nursing school (despite all the drama happening now, compared to last year at least I'm in)
Beat Pokemon Black
Beat Pokemon White
Learned how to take vitals
New layout!
Fixed my Wii so I can get games without the hassle of the transaction of money!
Uhh... Discovered the magic that is FRIENDSHIP. Yeah, I got into ponies
Got a 3DS! Not just any 3DS but the special Zelda edition one that I thought was only going to come out in Europe
Actually got to watch the theatric version of Company (and got two free movie passes, which I still haven't used lol)
Watched Muppets, Sherlock 2, Cars 2, etc. when they came out in theaters
Learned lessons in my life that I never imagined I'd learn
Passed my online classes
Genderbent ep of Adventure Time!
Portal 2 DLC was amazing (and actually came out)
Got my Writer's Block question posted :)
Free meal at Olive Garden during the con
Got to ride the light rail the day of its opening

...Aaaaand a bunch of other things I can't remember, but made me feel good all the same :D

I'm just hoping 2011 doesn't have any more bad surprises in the next...2 or so hours?

Also, of course when I'm getting into Parks and Rec again, and subsequently Amy Poehler, it makes the wait for this this much more unbearable:


Daddy issues, I guess I have them

Thanks you guys for all the great advice yesterday :D

That post was mostly a catharsis word vomity mess that actually did make me feel better after I posted it. After taking some breathing room the school site loaded again and I was actually able to finish a good amount of my work.
I still have some to do, but with the way things are looking now I'll probably have plenty of time.

Cut to spare you from my emo ranting again, lolCollapse )

And now this turned into an emotional post. How did that happen? 


My cousin's coming.

Yes. That cousin (

I need to find somewhere to stay until this blows over.
That and school is starting on the 4th. This and Sentara inability to give me a break is so not helping my back to school anxiety.

So much I still have to do. Finish some writings, migrate to DW, etc.


Some positive light my way


Some art lilithisbitterredmagelilith</lj> drew me for Christmas

This would be a time to drink

...Except, you know, if I actually drank.

But like yeah, its 3am. Do you know why it is 3am and this post is being made? Because I had to stay up until this time
Because I was working on crap. Because I actually haven't gotten a day of rest since classes end (because of other classes and errands and crap).

So anyway. I checked my school email.

So I was doing online classes for nursing school, because the school hates me and puts all their courses online because they suck. And I was cramming all week long finishing a final project for one class because it was a powerpoint and I spent a lot of time working on said powerpoint, come to find out, there needed to be a paper with it. Yeah.
Anyway, I checked on my weekly documents for my other classes and there weren't any so I thought I was good.

Nope, wrong, *fail!buzzer sound*

Turns out, my culture class had one last final.

and its announcements are hidden by a huge useless banner that I always miss when I log on.

And, she announced the final thursday. ...THE *DAY* BEFORE THE FINAL.

Anyway, I caught this little tidbit Monday and rushed to take it and it was still open.
I thought I was in the clear, NOPE.

She caught me, said I missed the deadline, and went into gradebook and OVERRIDED MY GRADE.

Why yes, I love failing a class I worked hard on all semester due to MISCOMMUNICATION.

Oh goodness, I feel like crying. There has just been so much to do and then she emails me back and forth just to what? Taunt me? IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO THIS THEN WHY STRING ME ALONG AND ASK "WHY?" STUPID.

What was the freakin' harm? I only got 22 out of 32 so its obvious I wasn't cheating. And why announce the final one DAY before it? Oh, but that would be my fault because I didn't check the stupid syllabus. BECAUSE YES, THAT WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT WHEN I CRAM MYSELF TO SLEEP, READ THE SYLLABUS COVER TO COVER.

I just, can't take it. I need a break or something. But I still have a course that started last week and ends on the 23rd so I need to get on that.

And I got a low 70 in that class. When I should have had a 90 something. Uh-huh. I don't even know where that stands on Sentara's grading scale.
And I can't afford to flunk out now, not when I'm close to an internship.

why is this happening why.

is there someone i can take this up with, someone to yell at at least.

I hope this is just the late night getting to me, i just want it to end.


25% sugar, 25% cream, 540% tl;dr

Man, never thought there would be a day where I would have a backlog of life updates to post about. That, and I never thought school would get so time-consuming that I *couldn't* just put it off. But alas, here we are.

While I could finally post about personal life muck now, it would probably be better to wait until after finals. Oh finals... What a time you are, 4 years of college and just now I'm realizing I'm in it for keeps.

So what's the point of this entry then? Well, other than sanity loss, I finally caught up and overtook my current work load (since Nekocon, *whew*) and (I never thought I'd say this but) I miss posting memes, heh.

Are we watching the same show?Collapse )
This next meme isn't really much of a meme, but more of a poll of sorts. My extra icon time is drawing to a close, and what with everyone slowly migrating over to DreamWidth I might as well not even bother with renewing the cost for extra space (subscription is another story, I may keep it for another year and see how this year will pan out).
That being said I want to decide which icons should stay and which should go. I'm going to try posting all of them with back story (yeah, lets see how this pans out) and decide from there.

Backwards going upCollapse )

...And I now I'm lazy, behold the magic of memes, oh well I'll decide later.


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